


A Moments Reprieve

by cervidcell



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Other, Reader is not named or described, Reader-Insert, Violently Requited Feelings, very minor existential dread
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 16:28:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18502696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cervidcell/pseuds/cervidcell
Summary: "Thank you, Romani.""Roman," he laughs, before averting his gaze once more. You think, in the dim light emanating from inside, that there's a pink tone to his cheeks, but you're unable to tell. Your hand falls idly from his, and his follows suit."You're uh - you look beautiful, by the way."





	A Moments Reprieve

The last couple of months in Chaldea have been particularly brutal; not only have you had to adjust so quickly, but it seems all the world's gone to shit and you're the only one who has a snowball's chance in hell at fixing anything.

Despite the long nights, rough days, near-constant battles against Eldritch abominations and asshole-Servants alike, there _is_ a small comfort in knowing that Mash, Da Vinci, and the doctor are always happy to see you. Of course you've made some good friends in many of your Servants, too, but..

You sigh.

It's hard, and you don't want to admit it, but the blind trust and faith they have in you gets a little much.

Mash is a sweetheart, and you get along well with her - you'd consider her your closest friend, really - but even her undying praise and adoration, expectations that you _can_ hold up, gets too much. You've been doing fine, well even, but what if you stumble?

What if you fall?

Will they all turn their backs on you, their all-powerful, one and only Master?

How bad will the disappointment in their gazes be?

"Senpai, I needed to talk to you."

Speak of the devil.

"Yes?"

"Well," Mash blushes, presses her index fingers together, "It was supposed to be a surprise, but, with the current stakes, I thought maybe a surprise wouldn't be a great idea. And I need to check your schedule."

You nod, raising an eyebrow in question.

"Are you - would you be okay with a party on Saturday? For the staff and Servants, I mean. And you, of course!"

You laugh, brushing a stray hair away from your face, free arm crossed around your waist. "Um, yeah. Yeah, I can do that."

Mash lets out a little sigh, and smiles. "I know you're busy, and this isn't exactly the time to celebrate.. But you've been doing so well, and we thought you could use a break!"

_We_?

"For at least the day, or a few hours."

Nerves bubble up in your gut, but you squash them down. Your Servants deserve this, too. You force back your sigh, hoping your unease doesn't brush off on the girl in front of you.

"That sounds great, yeah."

She grins, and your head clears.

Maybe it won't be that bad after all?

.

It both is, and isn't, as bad as you thought.

_Isn't,_ because the smiles on your Servants faces - the loud laughter and odd pairings mingling together - makes it all worthwhile. _Is_ , because you're struggling to fit in, more than you thought you would.

Mash, as usual, pays close attention to your facial expression and the way that you stand, takes in every movement you make like she can't stop worrying about if you're having enough fun. And it's sweet of her, you think, but it's also nerve-wracking.

You need to be happier.

These people rely on you, your happiness is their happiness, they can all have fun and yet _you_ can't?

"Rough, yeah, but in the end, worthwhile." Robin smiles, brushes the brown of his hair away from his face. It's slicker than usual, and you entertain the thought of him trying to gel it back, only for the stubborn hairs to spring forth once more. "We got a lot of homunculus babies, and you know how excited Master gets about those."

You laugh politely, and others chuckle, delving into their own stories of battles by your side.

"I know I'm tired of chimeras," Billy's voice rings closer as he joins the circle. "One-hit crits? Bullshit." He nods towards you with a little smile. "But Master always gets them."

The attention turns to you for the moment, and you feel yourself burning up. Not with a blush, but with something stronger, more inflamed; you can feel the heat behind your eyes, thick in your throat, and you know if you don't get some fresh air you'll break down into sobs.

You take this moment to thank them, and excuse yourself, dipping out of the halls for some cool air.

Anxiety prickles at your skin, and your chest warms, burns, tears welling up in your eyes and you're not sure _why_ you're like this - maybe you're faulty, broken, something's wrong with you - but you _are_ like this and it's not good enough. These people deserve the Master they think you are; strong, reliable, proud.

Not weak like you.

Outside's nicer, with a cool breeze that almost seems to smack you out of your reverie. Cicadas sing over the sound of calm water, though you can't place where it comes from. It's nice. The balcony feels like it's own little world away from everyone, and that might just be what you need.

Your eyes slip closed, taking in the sounds around you. It's nice to get the alone time - the first bit you've had in a while - and be left to your own devices. Your head swims with thoughts of _now_ and _should be_ and _why aren't you_ but the hum of the nights air leaves you shoulders drooping. Tension eases from your form to the steady beat of the trill of cicadas.

You inhale deep, hold it in for a moment, then exhale through your nose.

The cool tickles your nostrils a little, and it brings a pleased smile to your lips. There's the slightest scent of strawberry in the air.

"Hey."

Your heart jumps in your throat. You still don't feel comfortable meeting anyone's gaze. A part of you - guilty, ashamed - hopes they're talking to someone else, only to be crushed when a hand rests gently on your shoulder. From the corner of your eye you see black leather.

"Are you okay?"

You swallow down your anxiety, which seems to glue itself to your oesophagus. With a quick glance to your side you confirm your suspicions - Romani.

"Hey." You smile, blink back stubborn tears. "I'm fine. Are you?"

He sighs, pulls his hand from you and rests his arms on the railing, peering off into the distance. "Overwhelmed, but, y'know." He flashes you a smile. "We'll get through it."

You smile back. "I hear that."

The commotion from inside dulls to the back of your mind, and you find yourself focused on Romani's soft breaths, the bubbling water, crickets, cicadas, the occasional hum of blowing wind.

"You're doing a really good job, you know."

You tear your gaze away from the darkening skyline, barely lit enough for you to make out trees in the distance. "Hm?"

"With the singularities, the Servants, adjusting to all this.. It must be hard, right?"

You nod, suppose it's.. _okay_ for you to talk to him like this, right? He's a doctor - _your_ doctor, so it should be fine. A part of you still wrings itself in guilt, wonders if this is you revealing far too much, would you make him feel bad? Guilty? Worry over you more?

You don't need coddling, but maybe a friend.

"It is," you brush back a stubborn hair, trying to stick it behind your ear. "The hardest part is the expectations, I think."

He nods, silently urging you to continue.

"I'm the one who has to command these people, sometimes to their ' _deaths_ ' - and I know it's not really dead, but it still hurts - and they all.. revere me, like some sort of," your hands flail in the air briefly, looking for an answer, "God-being? Like I know what I'm doing?"

His hand rests on your shoulder once more, touch warm, comforting. That hint of strawberry becomes more pronounced, and with it, comes a sense of longing.

"I know."

It's simple, but effective, something so quick and short and dirty and yet it settles into your heart and warms you up inside.

"For what it's worth, they love you too, y'know? Not just 'Master', but _you_." His gaze drops to you as he whispers your name, smile short but no less affectionate, like he's afraid to let himself smile properly.

You whisper his name back and hold the hand on your shoulder, thumb rubbing shapes over the black leather. "Thank you, Romani."

"Roman," he laughs, before averting his gaze once more. You think, in the dim light emanating from inside, that there's a pink tone to his cheeks, but you're unable to tell. Your hand falls idly from his, and his follows suit.

"You're uh - you look beautiful, by the way."

"Thank you," you breathe, taking a moment to gloss over his features; the pressed black suit he dons is simple, but suits him well. The darkness brings out the green of his eyes and the soft pink-orange to his hair. Unlike most of the others, his hair's been kept in the same, fluffed-up ponytail it's always in. A part of you wants to pull it out, envisions the threads running through your fingertips. "You look quite handsome yourself."

"Oh, this old thing?" He tugs at his lapels, and blathers on with some blatantly made-up story, a joke thrown in for good measure, and you find yourself laughing automatically in response despite not hearing it at all. The glitter of his eyes enraptures you, the happiness painted so clear on his face, the ease at which he jokes around with you all warms you from the inside outwards.

Your laughs veer off into a companionable silence, punctuated only by the sounds of the world around you. The anxiety that had bubbled over from before has eased tremendously, and you find yourself content for the first time in a while.

If only that stubborn strand of hair would stick in its place.

The chunk curls _just_ _right_ to brush against your eyelashes, irritating the hairs there. You make the motion to brush the hairs aside, but Romani's fingers meet your forehead first, touch cool from the leather of his gloves.

"You have a.." he trails off, seemingly distracted by something else. He's quiet, and though he curls the hair behind your ear once more, his fingers don't leave your skin, opting to trail down the side of your face.

His touch on your cheeks is gentle, almost reverent, and the green behind his eyes burns brilliantly. His gaze drops over your features, scanning slow and languid, like time's frozen. He lands on your lips. Rose builds at his cheeks and you find yourself licking suddenly parched lips.

You whisper his name under your breath and he sighs, tilts his head to the side as you lean in. His free hand timidly snakes around you, and you lean into his touch. The hand at the small of your back shakes as you step closer, and your arms loop around his neck.

You stop a hairs breadth away from meeting his lips.

"Oh god," you pull yourself, immediately regretting it with the way his face falls, poorly veiled heartbreak painted on his features.

"What?"

"I'm sorry - _not you!_ It's not you," you laugh and bury your face in his neck. Your cheeks burn with the shame of your faux pas. "It's just, I don't.. I mean I want to - you hear that, right?"

"Hear what?" Concern laces his tone, and the hand on your face drops down, brushes over your shoulder.

"I can't kiss you to Wang Chung."

He chokes out a laugh, his other arm moving to wrap snugly around your waist. The scent of him is even nicer up close, and he feels strong, secure against your chest. "Is that really it?"

"It makes such a dumb story! Can you imagine it? Yeah, I was in love with this guy for _months_ and I finally kissed him to the sweet sounds of _Everybody Have Fun Tonight_." You pull away from his chest and meet his gaze.

His eyes glimmer with humour, bright, the happiest you've seen him in a while. When he speaks, his voice dips humorously low, in a sad imitation of the singers'. " _Everybody Wang Chung tonight._ "

Everything clicks into place, and your anxiety washes off you, like the presence and familiarity of him bathes you in comfort.

"You're lucky you're pretty," you laugh with him, moving your hands to cup his cheeks. Right as you stand up on your toes, he leans into you, pressing his lips to yours gently. The arms around your waist tighten when you pull back only to kiss him more firmly, more confidently. He sighs into it, and you feel his lips curl into a smile.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Someday this'll definitely build up into NSFW content because BOY do I love Dr. Roman but, like, I wanna wine and dine him first. It's what he deserves.
> 
> Sorry if this isn't up to scruff; it's been many years since I've done fluff/humour!
> 
> As always thanks for the views, comments, and kudos! I appreciate them all. And thank you sweet angels Sirius and Mimi for letting me ramble about this angelic being on you for like.. hours on end, haha.


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